Once upon a time, there was an independent, confident and optimistic woman. She thinks, she can conquer the world. And she did, at least that what she thought. Well, that was what I thought.
Soon, she got married and got pregnant.
The pregnancy was a cinch, for the first six months. Then came the drama. The belly was so big, that it stings. You know, it started as an itch, and then not so itchy and it sting. The bigger the belly, the more discomfort for me. All the creams, and body lotions, body butters and body oils can’t help it. So, hello stretch marks!
And then comes the labour. It was so intense -more drama, of course- and now she had a perfect baby girl in her arms, suckling perfectly, but cried non-stop.
Fast forward to almost one year later, I found out that I was expecting a second baby in, well, 5 months or so. What?! Yes, I don’t even realize that I was pregnant. No morning sickness, no breast swelling, yeah, I was breast feeding- so it was constantly sore. And with same dramatic event repeated itself, I had yet another baby girl, 17 months apart. And, I had a boy, 18 months apart from his sister. So, in less than three years, I delivered three babies.
At that moment, everyone (at least) the one that I met said one thing in unison. It is good to have your children when you are young, and strong, and healthy.
True.
But they are not the one who sleeps the last three years with breasts exposed as I was too tired to cover it after nursing a baby, or just too tired altogether from pumping, sterilizing things, or changing diapers, and oh yes, WORK.
When my youngest baby was 1 year old, I am so proud of myself that I am not pregnant again. So proud that I forget what was pregnant like. So, when I don’t feel well during one toolbox meeting, the whole team teased me. And… Mamma mia! Here I go again!
(Image: www.pixabay.com)
So, I had delivered 4 babies in various delivery rooms in the span of 4years and 9 months. And I am so tired. Literally, so tired.
I had four under-five in my bed. But being tired does not change a thing. The world goes on, whether you are tired or not, your children -MY CHILDREN- still need their tired mother, after all. Their father? Well, yes, but not as much as their mom. If you know what I mean.
So, aside from being tired, what have I learnt during the past years?
A LOT! A WHOLE LOT.
Some of them are:
- I remember baby milestones by heart, so when my second baby doesn’t talk as much as her big sis, I know to put a red flag on in, and goes to the specialist as soon as I could.
- Also, when I had a real difficulty from breastfeeding my son, I knew there was something wrong, even though the doctors didn’t realize it then. He was diagnosed with type II/III tounge-tied when he was 6 months old.
- In terms of clothes, I don’t have to buy lots of baby clothes, the hand me down from my first born is still goes as far as it can. This goes the same in the toys department. And shoes, and socks, and books, or baby bottles. You know, the economies of scale really happen for this kind of things.
- And I did benefit from being stubborn to get my kids cloth diapers. They did easier toilet trainings, the diapers go a long way, and I still can sell and donate their cloth diapers.
- I knew there are a whole section in the bookstore dedicated to babies, from the moment they were conceived (or even the TTC part) up until their school years. I know it’s not a manual how to raise your kids, but, still, it helps a lot when you are clueless. Like moi.
- I am so updated about they consultation fee for paediatrics and OBGYNs in some hospitals. Obviously!
- Being mom of 4 small children, requires composure and elegance. Yeah, right. I learn how to ensure my clothes are not easily stained, how to ensure kids clothes are cute enough but not oh-so-expensive. This is one acquired skill, you know. My husband is also getting this new skill of knowing what size of the kids on now. A very rare talent for a male-species.
- Speaking of calmness and composure, the paediatrician taught me all the know-hows and tips and all. When my kids getting feverish, drink a lot of water, and eat well. And rest. No need to rush them to the nearest hospital. Burn injury? Wash with cold water for 15 mins and apply burn ointment.
- There are a lot of ways to wean your baby. Feed them with puree, or chunks as in BLW or feed them as per WHO guide. Which one is best, then? Well, there is no “one fits all” solutions. My daughters enjoy BLW method, and hate purees, porridges. My eldest son not so into BLW, he preferred the puree approach. While my youngest, he did not enjoy both. So, I have to learn new ways and new method,
- Last but not least, remember that contraception is a way to space up the age gap. But if it didn’t work- I am getting pregnant on various contraception, though- just enjoy where life takes you.
Being a parent is more than just how you delivered, feed, wean or present the baby in the public. Parenting is not public relation. It is a responsibility that will give you joy, contentment and even pride. But it is not the goal. The goal is to raise a purposeful human being, that will contribute their best effort to mankind and the universe in the long run. It is an exhausting, or even excruciating journey at some points, but eyes on the prize, people!
And I am waaaay too busy with my world rather than joining the mommy-war side. So, yeah, I am so happy with my busy life and never-ending laundry.
Mba miaaaa....
Survived with 4 toddlers and baby, you are rock!!
Lah, udah dimuat. Makasih, TUM.
Ini ocehan mamak yg anaknya lagi sakit barengan, cin. Laundry mah ngga usah dibayangin. Dicuci ajah. Huahahaha
gws ya anak-anak semuaaa..
bhahah.. tiap hari gak kelar-kelar urusan cucian, rasanya pengin bilang "kids ga usah keseringan ganti baju lah"
Mba Miaaa, sungguh aku padamu!!
baca artikelnya ngangguk2 sambil ketawa. trus belom kebayang cucian 4 anak segimana, secara 3 anak sekolah aja udah bikin pening kalo urusan laundry :))
baca ini sambil ketawa, omg cindy, skrg mama anak 4. dah gede2 pula
time flies