Something has changed in me.
Every night after my little one's last feeding, I wait until the very last minute before I move her to her room. Before she was born, my husband and I had made up our minds that our baby would be sleeping alone in the nursery. Co-sleeping didn't seem like something that would work for us. We were too worried we would roll on top of her.
Until a couple of weeks ago, everything was fine. Akila has almost always slept very well. She has been sleeping for 6-8 hours straight since 6 weeks of age. I had no problems with that of course! Having a new born sleeping through the night was such a blessing! So I thought at first.
Now, after the baby blues had faded away and motherhood starts to really kick in, every night when it's time to move her from my bed, my heart skips a beat. Will she be okay? Will she be too cold, or too hot? Will there be any critters creeping into her bed? What if she cried at night and I didn't hear her? How would she feel when she rolled over to find me and I was not there? All of the sudden, the thought of my sweet baby feeling alone and sad was just heartbreaking.
To part with her, even just for 6 hours of sleeping isn't as easy anymore. I know she's just in the next room, but still, not being able to cuddle her all night and smell her baby scent makes me a bit tensed and teary-eyed.
My husband suggested that we consider letting her sleep with us. I guess he misses her too and feels just like I do. We gave it a shot and to our surprise apparently the baby had other plans! After 6 months of sleeping on her own, she's now used to having her own space. When she's healthy — no teething or fever —it seems that she prefers to sleep on her own without her parent's snoring and occasional tossing and turning. She sleeps better by herself! My oh my..
Although heartbreaking, we've decided to keep things the way they are, since it's the most comfortable for her. Now my husband and I are left in bed at night missing our little one. To ease our worries, we talk about the funny things she did that day and mimicking her typical behavior before bed religiously.
I'm always anxious to meet her the next day and I cross my fingers every night, hoping she would wake up for her midnight feed just so that i can meet her and hold her close.
I never thought i would feel like this. My heart melts whenever I leave my baby's room after kissing her goodnight. I was convinced that i would be able to be firm all the way. But, I was wrong.
Her chubby little face has changed me :)
met kenal yah:)
Wah salut ama bundanya akila yg udah bisa pisah tidurnya ama akila. kok bisa sih udah pisah ama babynya? *amaze*
akila..djempolan deh..bobo yg nyenyak yah:)
@happyme-lia: waaah setuju bangeeet, gimana ya caranya biar anak malem gak bangun untuk nenen..hihihih, bener kasian bapaknya, tapi kitanya juga suka tegaan, mending mengorbankan suami daripada anak *apa itu cuma saya? o-oh =D*
Aduh akila, kamu demenake sekali deh bisa bobok sendiri..
@sella: thx ya bu :) kiss buat Ray!
@gamma: nah, persis..gw sering ngrasa "ko ga bangun yaaa buat nenen?" kadang blas smp subuh ga pk bangun padahal gw dah nunggu2 hehe
@ayu: iya tnyt mmng sedih, aku awal2 cuek blas..skrng jadi gimanaaa gitu rasanya
@medy: ahaha dapet alesan gitu yak beli ranjang baru? ckck..
@thalia: wow lucu bgt ngebayangin bebi mungil bobo di tenda, gaya bener! mini camper hihi
@happyme-lia: blum kali bu, ntar agak gedean mngkn bisa ya mudah2an. smg suaminya ttp bersabar bobo di ekstra bed, duh urbanpapa yang sayang anak bgt ya!
@sisca: wah soren akrobat gitu ya bobonya? makin lama juga gw perhatiin akila makin lasak nih!
@yuli: wah allayna sumbang jempol juga! hihi iyaaa ntar maen krmh gw ya kl ke bdg lagi :)
@otty: kaya topi saya dong..bundar :D makasi ciumnya tantee
@slesta: gelisah yah mikirin terus, pgnnya deket2an biar yakiiin..ah sama yah,gw juga suka seneng bgt kl ada kesempatan buat boyong akila ke kasur gw hihi
@sukma: iya kl mimi malem itu paling gampang kl tidur sekasur ya, ibunya ga musti turun dan ke kamar anak..kebayang gempor kl sering2 >.<
@nyanya: tar peluk beneran ya tante pas kita kopdaran :D
Lei, Akila pinter bgt bobonya. Gue kalo ada kamar lg jg pgnnya tdr pisah deh. Hehehe. Peyuk2 ah buat Akila :)
hihihi..pas banget gue baru baca artikel di yahoo kemaren mengenai plus minus anak tidur bareng ortunya. gue sih sampe sekarang masih bareng terussss..:D. Ga tega ninggal Rara di box..all alone..dah gitu tidurnya kayak lebah, kesana kemari..takut kepentok euy ;p (alesan)
alesan terkuat adalah Rara masih kebiasaan menyusu di malem hari ^.^
duh kapan ya bisa ajarin minum pake sedotannn *malah curhat, maap*
aniway, Akila tampak damai dalam tidurnya, mimpi apa ya kira2? hi9